Recently, I finally have a chance to wear the wedding dress that I bought for myself awhile ago. I took a few pictures last week and posted them on Flickr. (As you can see, the link to Flickr is one of those last remaining ties to "Tara".) Since then, activities on my Flickr account have been non-stop.
There is something to be said about the dress though. I have never worn anything that made me feel as sexy and feminine as I did in my own wedding dress. This dress is incredible; when I put it on all traces of boyish thoughts vanish, and when I look into the mirror, all I see is a girl with curves. Hmm. Interesting. Kate is the blushing bride. Kate is all woman. That's quite a thought.
Would you join me in indulging in a fantasy then? First, I'll need some cosmetic upgrades to my body (ie: the proper "girl parts") to make me perfect. Men will want to have me; and women will be jealous of me. Then a wealthy and handsome gentleman will sweep me off my feet and then propose to me. We'll have a small wedding at an exotic locale. I'll look perfect in every way, my make-up, jewelry, hair, the dress. And then I'll be off to honeymoon in the arms of my lover, making passionate love as a new wife, day and night...in bed, in the shower, on the balcony, on the beach. He will treat me like a princess, and dress me in the most exquisite clothes that shows off my glorious body. He will satisfy every one of my sexual desires, and take me to new heights in the joy of womanhood. In return, I will allow my lover to enter me as he pleases, many times a day. That's okay, because it pleases me too. I can be his perfect wife: a lady in the parlor and a whore in bed. We'll live happily ever after.
BUT WAIT! Take another look into the mirror and we're right back to reality!
No, life is nothing like my fantasy at all. I don't have the proper "girl parts", although once upon a time someone did offer to pay for my FFS and SRS and anything that may cost money, conditions attached of course. I've since decided that they weren't for me. (May by I'll write about this in the future.) I don't have someone rich to pay for nice clothes so that I can be around town all the time getting people's attention. I work. In a lab. Doing research that can change how engineers design airplanes. It's much more fulfilling than being eye candy. Life isn't all about sex with my partner; but we find ourselves no less satisfied. But what is much more important is that we're both genuinely committed to each other, not because of sexual desires--that will fade away in time--but because we're also close friends, like we had been for many years before we even started dating. We take up the challenges of life together, and we get to share the rewards together. Both of us are accepted as the persons that we are--imperfect, but infinitely precious. Neither one of us need to put on a mask to pretend to be anything that we're not.
Life is so much better than a fantasy.